BRAIN DUMP

because sometimes all you really need is to take a good dump.

Buongiorno bbs!

Less than 24 hours ago, Amy Coney Barrett was sworn in as the newest supreme court justice by Clarence Thomas and my system is officially zoloft free. How’s your fever dream going?

When brainstorming what to write in this week’s newsletter, I found myself bursting at the seams with ideas. This is a common experience for me, and usually it means I am overloaded and need to slowwwwww my roll, just a bit. I know the ideas need to come out, but they’re swirly and scattered. When this happens, I just start writing in my journal. For 20 minutes, whatever comes to mind, onto the paper it goes. Sometimes I’m writing nonsensical lists. Quotes. Doodles. Sometimes it’s fun bubble letters. Sometimes it’s just a bunch of squiggles on the page. See below for reference:

Then, I’ll walk away for a few minutes and upon my return, categories start to form to help make sense of my ideas a bit more.

This exercise helps me organize my thoughts immensely and free up the large party of boomers who live in my brain restaurant — clinking and cackling, not getting the hint whatsoever, despite the entire establishment being empty, and their waiter pacing back and forth glaring at their empty, half open check folder that everyone.wants.them.to.leave……NOW.

It was during my most recent brain dump yesterday that the idea finally emerged: instead of writing about just one idea in this week’s post, why not just share my brain dump with you all and leave it at that!

Below, you’ll find a few brain dump categories I’ve constructed for this week’s post. If you too are feeling stuck and alllllll over the place right now, I’d highly suggest trying this exercise. It’s amazing to me how much comes through once I stop constricting, relax and just r e l e a s e.

And the first brain dump category is….

  • Starting to befriend my anger more. It feels… empowering! exciting! illuminating!

  • You’re a dream. You…are…a…dream…

  • Dear Therapists podcast

  • Our existence is not meant to annihilate. We simply exist.

  • PFW Guide — The Fantasy World Master List of Resources on How to Dismantle Systemic Racism

  • Let the Homies be Gay in Peace t-shirts

  • TieDye4Biden — fun, cool cause!

  • Black Frasier with Phoebe Robinson is everything I need right now

  • Realizing people aren’t meant for you and not resenting them. Growth.

  • Pope Francis Supporting Same-Sex unions?!?

  • You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were yesterday

  • Justgoodshit.com

  • Patterns of Transformation by Ida Benedetto

  • For it’s when we break a little, we come alive.

  • Ryan Heffington’s Sweat Fest on instagram

  • Call to Mind — an APM/MPR initiative to inform and mobilize new conversations about mental health

  • Cleo Wade’s dedication in Heart Talk: This is dedicated to every human being who looks different, feels different, and thinks differently. I see you. I feel you. I am you. Stay different. Our world needs the difference we will make.

  • Coming up with “I feel rested when…” lists. Like: I feel rested when I’m… surrounded by people I love. I feel rested when: I have time, with no looming deadline in sight.

  • Unholier than Thou podcast - especially the episode with Chani Nicholas

  • Home Cooking podcast with Samin Nosrat & Hrishikesh Hirway. I don’t cook, but it’s fun to surround myself with pretend friends who do it for me.

  • Note to my kids by Candice Brathwaite:

    I need them to understand that they aren’t my world and I shouldn’t be theirs. I feel like we are all separate planets, we bounce close together and love each other, sharing the same universe but we are still at the end of the day, doing our own thing.

    I didn’t understand that until my Dad died. He was my world. And then in a blink, my world combusted and I was forced to build a new space to call my own. I’d been so dependent on him as you would if death never invited itself over for tea before. When he died I didn’t even have a plane ticket home because he was supposed to be booking it for me.

    And you know, years after that — I want my kids to know that very early on. I’m gonna love and support you as best as I can and God spare life, I’ll be old and grey begging to crossover and you will perhaps want shot of me too. But in the event that it’s not that way, I want your world to continue to turn. When the stars twinkle in your sky, that’s the shine of particles remaining from my world sending you love notes.

  • Idea: organize a creative accountability group with friends who are all working on creative projects where we can bring our projects to connect and support each other (1x/month) while in process. Kind of like co-working sessions, with guest speakers, workshopping, etc…

  • Similar to the accountability group ^, but something that involves cross generational connections. Like… a big auntie/uncle matching program where people in the 30 - 35 range get paired with someone in the 60 - 75 range to talk about life and mobilize for a brighter future. [work in progress]

  • Mixt Feelings *care* packages (including resources and gifts to support someone’s mental, emotional, and physical health — also maybe some food included?)

  • Creating a Mixt Feelings magazine — double blind meets broccoli meets lucky peach meets… teen vogue?

  • Hosting *funky pants* parties - exactly what it sounds like.

  • I wish well meaning white women… examined systemic racism with the same gusto they brought to Emily in Paris

  • I wish well meaning white women… showed up against Amy Coney Barrett the way they did for Emily in Paris

  • Being a minority within a minority is tough, lifelong work

  • Sisterhood is medicine

  • I want to systematize care

  • The concept of chosen family is my guidepost

  • There is friction to be found playing in extremes

  • How to Fix a Broken Heart by Guy Winch

  • The Immortality Key by Brian Muraresku

  • Caste by Isabel Wilkerson

  • When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate

  • Disability Visibility by Alice Wong

  • My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem

  • Braiding Sweet Grass by Robin Kimmerer

  • White Negroes by Lauren Jackson

  • The Person You Mean to Be by Dolly Chugh

  • Breath by James Nestor

  • Inheritance by Dani Shapiro

  • How We Show Up by Mia Birdsong

&& finally: a BRAIN DUMP Mixtape. Listen to release & let that shit gooooo.

I love you,

Jesse