mixtape. X.

I seeeeeeeeeee you and I haaaaaaaate it

TGIF mon frère!

as promised — some tunes to get you out of your head for an hour and 31 minutes. This week’s mixtape is all about JEALOUSY ooooooooooooh. You know what I’m talking about. You just texted a friend and they didn’t respond, but then you see them having the TIME OF THEIR LIFE on an instagram story with 17 of their “best friends” who are also supermodels and people you’ve never seen before. Or for those of you who have no idea what an instagram story is (looking at you mom & dad) you receive a postcard from a friend in Roma who retired five years ago and all of his children are financially independent and he’s decided to take online Mandarin classes just cuz… We have all been there/are there at this very moment.

I know, I know… compare and despair. But in the world most of us live in, it is nearly impossible not to compare — the second we wake up and turn off our phone alarms we’re inundated with a million notifications about people who are smarter, hotter, cooler, richer, funnier than we’ll ever be. I don’t feel like getting into the nitty gritty of all of this, but point is: IT IS SO NORMAL TO WANT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE. JEALOUSY IS OKAY. ENVY IS PART OF LIFE. But… PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP FOR SECRETLY WISHING A LITTLE BIT OF ILL WILL ON SOMEONE WHO SEEMS TO HAVE IT ALL. THIS IS A PSA TO MYSELF. I’m not even going to get into social media’s role in brewing jealousy, but obviously creeping on other people’s lives all day and just seeing a beautifully curated snapshot is going to be real damaging to our egos.

While bringing up major pings of jealousy coming up for me this week, my spiritual mentor (stop rolling your damn eyes, you’re just jealous) suggested I start referring to my jealousy as “PIP” or Proof It’s Possible. I don’t know if I’m buying it yet, but I’m trying! This re-frame is exciting to me because I do believe most times when I’m feeling some type of way about a person, it’s because I’m jealous of what they’re doing and wish I could do the same. Instead of lamenting over how horrible another person is for living their lives, I’m going to take that as a signal that I too, can live my damn life.

I lost my train of thought and I’m exhausted so, alas… this week’s mixtape below:

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with love & envy,

Jesse