no words

cat got your tongue?

The Black ABCs by the Society for Visual Education, 1970

Hey you,

Where to even begin? Somewhere in the middle.

I haven’t been able to find the words to accurately communicate my feelings, lately. As a virgo rising, my love language is precise wording. But recently, my mind has been feeling like a fog machine, the words arrive in a puff of smoke, only to disappear .1 seconds later.

It’s happening right now, at this very moment.

I think the numbness I’m feeling is most certainly defensive. I’ve/We’ve been experiencing some major stimulus overload lately, and my internal system is in battery saving mode. It’s not a bad thing, really. But it’s annoying to me because it requires a lot of patience and trust.

I.hate.being.patient. As an aries sun, I’m a GO GO GO kind of girl. Sitting still makes me nervous. What’s happening? Are we there yet? WHAT’S TAKING SO LONG?

Trust is a tough one, too. As a libra moon, my emotional wellbeing is based on a web of interconnections. I know with every fiber of my being that I have to trust the process, trust the universe, trust others, trust myself. But I am in a constant battle with my energy and drive.

When I’m forced to sit in my mind’s waiting room, I like to flip through my favorite poems for solace. This week, I’m borrowing others’ words to help me decipher what I’m doing and where I’m going. These are for anyone who is also on stand-by for the next feeling flight:

From Salt by Nayyirah Waheed

Cotton Candy on a Rainy Day by Nikki Giovanni

Still Life with my Mother’s Hijab by Safia Elhillo

From On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, by Ocean Vuong

From Emporium by Adidi Machado

I no longer accept anger that is not meant for me. 

If you come here heavy with fury that I had no part in, 

please know that my hands won’t take it. 

I refuse, entirely, to be where you store your rage.

Nectar by Upile Chisala

Please take care of yourself and look out for others this week.

Rest in Power, Daunte Wright

with love,

Jesse